uhm,,nagbadminton kami ni aika.

pagod...
nag-badminton kami ni aika. its slightly magastos but its masaya naman. i'm thinking..what if i-develop ko ang aking badminton skills para at least naman i have a sport diba. kesa naman sa tatanungin ka tapos sagot mo lang "wala" o di kaya "jackstone" para mas athletic naman and dating. harhar.
anyway, pag nag-kikita kami ni aika, mawala na ang lahat wag lang ang chikahan moments. so un, isinangguni (wala akong kasyon, promise.) ko sa kanya ang aking mga inaalala. haha. somehow, i was enlightened naman.
i wouldn't fight for you. tell me i'm full of pride but still i won't. its your job, not mine. i know i can have what i want if i will do something. but then, i don't really want to have someone that became mine not because it is his will but because he knew that he doesn't have to do anything. i will not go down to that level anymore. i don't know what will happen next. i'm still hoping that things will go back to the way it was before. that is, if there was even a before. but then,i'm starting to realize that what i am hoping for will never become a reality. kahit hatakin pa xa ng chora(socsci 13, gender and society).maybe it's just not meant to be. i'm not afraid to lose you. coz you weren't even mine. and..i've been this way before(kanta?). mas malala pa nga ung dati. i can handle myself now. i know this is gasgas na. pero, i really really want to say this.

it's your loss, not mine.

alang pakyelaman, blog ku ini. wa, kapampangan ku! (pero ditak mu ing balu kung sabyan keng kapampangan.hehe.)

and, as for you. i deeply appreciate everything. the spongebob, the breakfast, and the song(daw). thank you. very much. i hope you'll still be there someday. someday... maybe.

looks like i will return to my old self after all huh.

i don't mind. i'm happy this way.

plankton

if you see me walking with him,

it is not because i enjoy walking with him.

it is because you weren't there to walk with me.

if you see me calling him,

it is not because i want him to be with me.

it is because you wouldn't hear me.

if you see me smiling when i see him,

it is not because i am happy.

it is because im trying to hide the pain that you've brought.

if you see me crying,

it is not because of him.

it is because of you.

all i ever wanted is for you to fight for me.

pusang gala.

mahal ko na to.

JUN MATSUMOTO

what if..

he is the one for me?

hey, no harm in dreaming.

and,

wala kang karapatang kumontra.

blog ko to noh.

christmas break na!

at last...

after waiting for so long...

it finally arrived...

harhar.

C H R I S T M A S B R E A K na!

ang tagal ko ring inasam-asam ito. sobrang stressed na kasi ako sa school. sobrang disappointed narin ako sa grades ko. chem. trigo. zoo. socsci 13. eng 1. pootek. PE lang ata gusto kong subject. don't get me wrong. i'm not the type of person who is inclined to physical activities. it just so happened that our PE teacher is great. well, not that my other teachers are not great... okay, they're not. for me, at least.

let's start with my math 14 teacher.

math 14 is hard. sadly, my teacher has a way of making it harder. i don't really understand his explanation regarding eponential and logarithmic functions. basically, it is because i can't see what he is writing on the board. damn it. i am a near sighted person. isn't it obvious with my glasses?! why the hell will you make me sit in the far corner of the classroom?! for crying out loud, i cannot see! another thing, what's with writing from right to left? and please explain the cap. it is so distracting. especially if its orange. i can't help but wonder. what are you hiding in your head? poknat noh? harhar. i'm so harsh na. okay, enough na muna with him. for now.

lets go to my chem teacher.

she's a very talented person. she just proved it in the recently held pasiklaban (ISKOLAR NG BAYAN, NGAYON AY PASIKLABAN! NGAYON AY PASIKLABAN, ISKOLAR NG BAYAN!--commercial lang.hehe.) she is also pretty. as in. pamatay. she's nice. she's smart. yeah, she's bloody samrt. MBB course niya. and she just graduated from Diliman. cum laude lang naman ang lola mo. she's mahinhin, very maria clara-like. perfect na nga xa eh. un nga lang..she wasn't born a teacher. she cannot explain. un na un. ang mahirap pa dun, ang hirap niya magbigay ng exam! so, you have no choice but to study by yourself. literally. another sad fact pa, we have the same balck coat! pootek. favorite ko pa naman yun. di ko tuloy masuot twing TTH. I'm not saying na i am the only one who have the right to wear that coat. my point is, sa dami dami naman ng makakapareho, xa pa. sadness.

now, to my zoo teacher.

she's kind. but not during exams. nakakaloko ang 1st LE namin sa kanya. un tipong, hindi mo alam kung tama o mali ka sa sobrang kalituhan. leche. nag-aral ako ha! in fact, i even memorized the invertebrate phyllum thing with their classes. nabaliw-blaiw ako. pero ano? hindi nag-appear!!! it hurts. it hurts a lot. at ano ang lumabas? puro mitosis meiosis chorva. leche. madali kung iisipin. pero kung ikaw ang nag-take ng exam na yun...anyway, past is past. hmmp.

eng 1?

assignment to the max. un lang. in one day, siguro may mga 3 to 5 assignments kami na dapat i-pass next meeting. kamusta naman yun? meron pang journal thing. ten entries= 1 point. ang lupet. xet.

socsci 13?

gender and society. kung ang eng 1 assignment to the max, ang socsci, papers to the max.

see. who will not be stressed? who'se grades will not suffer?

but then...

its not really my teachers' fault. it has even nothing to do with the difficulty of my subjects. what happens to me and what will happen to me all depends upon me. i am the master of my life. what i sow is what i reap. i cannot just blame everybody. i can only blame myself.

this situation calls for me to push myself to the limit. and from that i will not retreat. but of course, i will not do it to the extent of losing my social life. harhar. you only live once. and you only go to college once. you should go to college only once. *emphasis on should*.

i will double my efforts. triple it if needed. i promise not to waste this christmas break. i will really really study. i will do what i can.

if in the end i will lose, at least it is because it is not really for me and not because i didn't have the guts to accept the challenge and fight.

biglang serious?!?