kalanjutan I

hanapin ang dila ni cherrie.

sabi niyo magbebeh tayo!

anong trip ko dito?

wala akong masabi.

paa ko yung nasa gitna ng star.

ulit.

habang busy kami sa pag-aayos ng shades ni cherrie,

busy din si kristel.

yan ang pose.

hindi complete ang picturan pag wala ang

pose na to.

pacute ang usapan. cherrie, ano yan?

fiorella, cherrie, karen.

kristel, fiorell, cherrie

with shades.

yun yun eh.

kristel, fiorella, karen.

si kristel yun adik.

oo, may shades kaming lahat.

pano, sabay sabay kaming bumili sa burnham kanina. haha.

...sana lagi nalang ganito...

the first time i said ****.

i am so damn tired of my life. everything is going too fast that i am unable to grasp anything. i am not happy. i am not going anywhere. everyday, i just get more and more disappointed with myself . i feel useless. i feel like a crap. i feel dumb. i feel insecure. i am thinking too much. simply put, i am currently swimming in a pool of depression. i'm still clinging for dear life, but if this continues, i will eventually drown. nearing nervous breakdown here.
i have tried milkshake, ice cream, chocolates...but i'm still far from feeling better.
and what's the cause of my lame self pitying? duh. academics. it is my life right now. though i hate the fact that it is stasrting to control my life, i just can't help it. i am not getting what i want and it makes me feel..arggh..i can't describe it...and that adds to the anger circulating all over me right now.
note: what i feel is not anger. it's just something of that sort.
i flunked math. class standing is NOT good. Zoo and Chem are not helping. with this state, the idea of attending the college scholar chorvs isn't really appealing. that will be humilitation in its most conspicuous form. am i using the word correctly? i can't even write right. or blog right? whatever.
even blooging lost its soothing effect.
i want to give up. i just want to sleep.
give up.
give up.
give up.


** do not think that i have turned into a grade conscious monster. i don't believe so. i am just disappointed with myself.f*ck.
(i don't really use that word. see how disappointed i am right now?)


i am not sure if you understand me. so please don't judge me.

HELP ME.

TGIF

thank God its friday. finally. i think i survived this week.
i flunked a lab exam in zoology 10. yup. embarassing (not really. only three people passed. they barely survived.), dissapointing, frustrating. @#$%^*& tissues.
***
but then, cursing tissues wouldn't make me feel better. it wasn't even their fault that they are too damned complicated anyway.
***
i hate me. i know i could have done more. i could have studied more. i could have exerted more effort. i am dissapointed with myself.
***
what the hell is happening to me?! why am i like this? come on karen, wake up!!!
***
we had another major lab exam earlier this day. i think the results of this one would be better than our previous exam. hope so. i exerted effrort memorizing those muscles. plus their insertion, origin and action too.
***
but still, i am not contented.
***
i know i can do more. i can.
***
this is it. i have to show that "more".
***
btw, been to a muslim mosque last wednesday. they gave us free booklets and merienda too. haha.
***
BUSH, you are so damn wrong about these people.MUSLIM PEOPLE are better than what is known regarding them. in fact, they are even better than us. they are even better than you BUSH. they are not terrorists as the media and our society has defined them to be. they are not who you defined them to be. they are merely defending themselves. they are merely fighting for their rights. they are merely demanding RESPECT. unfortunately, we always fail to give that to them. why? because we are blinded by those tie wearing americans who are too selfish to even bother. hellllllllllllooooooooooooooooo world! duh, they are just "white". why do we idolize them so much? arggh. the so called american accent, imported items, hollywood...what else? they are not the most intelligent people in the world. they are not even the most beautiful race. they are just good at glamorizing stuff. the point is, we are just STUPID.
let us not worship them. they don't deserve it. let us not even fear them. they don't deserve it either. why will we be afraid of people who are insecure of themselves? yes, insecure. it is their insecurity that drives them to search for superiority.
i am not good in grammar, even in spelling. i hate math and i can't develop nuclear bombs. but i can give respect. and that makes me powerful than you, BUSH.

PEOPLE, THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL DEMOCRACY. USE IT. USE IT WELL.

--from the heart of a true blue UPian.

***
okay, so much for that.
***
speaking of UPians...
***

U-Nibersidad ng Pilipinas!
U-Nibersidad ng Pilipinas!
U-Nibersidad ng Pilipinas!
U-Nibersidad ng Pilipinas!

Matatapang, matatalino,
walang takot, kahit kanino,
hinding hindi nagpapahuli!
Ganyan kaming mga taga-UP!

***
that cheer never fails to encourage me. i wouldn't let go of this school, whatever it takes.
***
last na, pumunta kaming bell church kanina!!(konek?!) wla lang,, ganda!! bukas ko na kwento. mahal na to.

just whine. its therapeutic.

i will die. school is so damn hard. teachers give you tests everyday. as in major exams-the kind that pulls your grades down-everyday. as if the subject their handling is your major major. i don't even have a major yet but i'm suffering. i don't know how i will fit everything with just 24 hours. i wish God made 48 hours per day instead. then i'll have enough time to sleep so as to prevent the death of my brain cells. (half of them are already burried. a quarter still struggles for dear life. and the remaining ones are not working.)
with all the work, i am not sure if i will still be able to even step on the gates of diliman or see manila's version of oble.
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
i have laid out my plans. math killed it once. it won't be successful again. with the remaining two months, the pressure will start to build up. build up plang. xet. i wonder if i'm still breathing the moment it reaches its peak. anyway. whatever happens, this is it. if i'll have to die, i will. i have to get to where i should be.
my beginner's luck has run out. too bad i have no felix whatever-the kind harry has. so what? luck may not be there. but hardwork won't surely leave. i guess it's all up to me.
i will.
***
finished skinning my frog.
luckily, they're already drowning in formaline when they were distributed. they were in this bucket and each student has to scoop out his frog. eeew. i didn't went through that part. my classmate alvi did it for me. haha.
but i did skinned my own frog.
at first, i can't really touch it. i just looked at it for some time. then little by little, i finally got the courage. the next thing i knew, i was happily cutting its abdomen. aww. i felt the texture of its skin under my tw0-layered gloves. wasn't bad after all.
caryl, kristel and i finished it earlier outside cary'ls apartment. people were passing and as kristel narrated, one even said "weird".
well, it's not everyday you see girls laughing while holding skinless frog. haha.
btw, i named mine elyon. wala lang. *naughty smile*.
***
when i was walking home to fetch elyon, i felt my bag got heavy. i turned around without expecting anything. i saw two men behind me as my phone fell in the pavement.
"miss, phone mo nahulog."
i picked my phone and walked calmly. i turned my bag around. it's unzipped. pick-pockets.
first time to experience that one. and boy it won't happen ever again.
buti nalang mga tanga natapat sakin.
***
it's freezing cold out here.
floredy and ophelia gave me small toblerone bars last week. i inserted the toblerones for i wanted to savor them while i lie in bed peacefully. after a long walk, i went home and went straight to my room. as i changed to my pajamas, i saw the chocolates that i saved earlier. they have undergone the process of melting due to the...just figure. too tired to go to the kitchen or even think of eating, i placed the chocolates in the drawer. the next morning, woah. they're hard again. therefore, i conclude that my drawer also has the properties possessed by that oif the fridge.
***
collecting images of tissue types from the net.
***
will go home during the weekends? or will i stay to watch kitchie nadal? hmm..
***
finish.
***
large font for wilson molina.